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Got this from [profile] stardustii. Had fun giggling over it. You can also make your own hilarious drabble HERE.

BELLAMORT/SANTA:-
I Saw Bellatrix Kissing Santa Claus

Voldemort woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one pale box that looked like a wand.

Then Voldemort noticed that Bellatrix was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Voldemort thought that he would surprise Bellatrix. Maybe even sneak up behind her and smell her on her funny hair. That always made Bellatrix ugly.

Voldemort crept charmingly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its noseless lights, and the presents, heaped up sexily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Bellatrix. Kissing someone.

Voldemort was so angry, he picked up a rocks from a table and threw it poutily in his lair.

They both looked around.

"Bellatrix, you power-weilding bunny!" Voldemort yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Voldemort looked and then rubbed his foot and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Bellatrix said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what an ecentric kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Voldemort said winningly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be weird."

That seemed reasonable. Voldemort went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like a Voldemort without his nose, okay, so maybe he does have one.. He made Voldemort's nose feel all indecent.

"You see?" Bellatrix said huskily and Voldemort saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.


---

LUCIUS/NARCISSA:-
Classy Love

Lucius finished packing. Ever since Narcissa, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Lucius had been super.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing dealt him, all was pale. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going in a pond to become a shinning book.

Just then, there was a lovely knock at the door. Lucius opened it and stood there nervously for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his hand.

When Lucius came to, Narcissa was holding his foot and looking elegant. "My love," Narcissa said beautifully, "I'm sorry for the charming shock. I've been shipwrecked on a cold island for the last ten years, living like a pot of gold at the end of the never-ending rainbow.. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my mouth in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Lucius could hardly believe his Narcissa had returned. "I will always love you, mouth or no mouth. Besides, you can cover it up with a smile."

They embraced sexily and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was blond.
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