Breaking Dawn Review (Part Two)
Aug. 14th, 2008 09:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sarahyyyAm back with more of the review… We’re starting up page 275.
I like how there was actually Alice and Jake interaction. “I’ll have to admit, it is a relief having you close by - in spite of the wet-dog smell.” LOL at that. And how Jake was starting to warm up -very reluctantly- to the Cullens. And lol again at what Jake said… Don’t you say anything to her! Let her think I ate it. AND… How did a stone face have dimples, for crying out loud?
LOL! And the part with Rosalie’s Fido joke (page 294). Jake and Rosalie interaction was golden in Breaking Dawn. Made me laugh, all of them.
And I agree with both Jake and Edward about the part where they think Bella shouldn’t keep in contact with Charlie. Any normal human would have been freaked out -but I guess Smeyer sort of made Charlie abnormal-… *grumbles* Every part of the realism was gone from the book.
AND PAGE 303 & 304 TOTALLY PWNED! “You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair.” Lol. That was such a typical Rosalie reaction though I would have loved to see her fight Jake.
And all the Jake/Leah interaction was brilliant too. She managed to make me moderately like Leah! Page 312 when Leah went all, “You make a good Alpha. You’re worth following, Jacob.” I was like *nod nod nod*.
And ZOMG. I simply cannot believe this. The baby broke her pelvis and she wants to keep it still. Talk about idiotic woman.
And gah, to make it even worse than ever, Edward can hear IT! And blah, she’s calling the baby EJ. Edward Jacob. Good Lord woman, give Jake a break! He loves you and you go name your child with another guy after him? WTF? But at least it’s a proper name.
WHAT TYPE OF NAME IS A RENESMEE?!?! This is simply unacceptable. She’ll be laughed at forever! (But well, since she’s a vampire and all, she can probably rip whosoever who ridicules her into pieces…) SMEYER, I AM STARTING NOT TO LIKE YOU EVEN MORE.
But I sort of didn’t like it much when Jake ran off to find someone to imprint on. *blinks blinks* What does he think he’s doing? It’s supposed to be magical and rare and all but he’s like going all out and trying to see if anyone of those people out there fits! He was meant for someone better. I actually thought Leah, but then Renesmee came and all. Blah.
C’mon Jake - imprint already.
I lol’ed at that. He was so desperate!
And what sort of idiot is Bella anyway? Anyone so close to birth should know that bending is a BIG NO-NO! But no, she just had to and goes all stomach-ripping and blood-fountain-spitting! Smeyer has a knack for drama at the wrong times. *shakes head*
And this…
I saw red spots pop out when he scream broke the blood vessels in her eyes.
Is THAT really possible? *blink blink* Just wondering if it can be done or if Smeyer has gone all cranky with her exaggeration. =D
And Jake was all, “How many times had I imagined her naked? Now I couldn’t look.” *snorts* I wonder if he realises that if Edward were in a more relaxed/clam situation, he probably would have heard her and ripped her to bits? =D
And how Smeyer described Edward licking her wounds to seal them… That really grossed me out. Like SERIOUSLY! I wouldn’t have any vampire do that to me, not even Edward, for life. I wouldn’t do that to anyone too. Ewww…
And I actually thought that there was finally going to be a fight where Jake wanted to go for Rosalie and Renesmee. I WAS SO HAPPY! And then I saw the words…
It was a glowing.
And then I understood and I was like, “HE CAN’T HAVE BELLA SO HE IMPRINTS ON HER HALF-VAMPIRE DAUGHTER?!” Like major WTF moment there. I mean, come ON! How could this happen?! And seriously, “the universe swirled around her” and “symmetry of universe” and “gravity no longer tied him to Earth”? BECAUSE OF RENESMEE?!
Bah Smeyer. Just… Epic fail.
(Page 334)
And that sums up book two. Phew. As usual, go have your breaks. Toilet? Coffee? Pics of Robward?
(Okay, Edward up in a tree, snog me.)
Alright. Everyone set? Book three.
And all of the sudden...
Oh! So clear! So sharp! So nice smelling! My voice is like singing! (part of me wonders if they at all do a movie on BD, would it be a musical? =D) No more pain! Yayyayyayyayyayyayyayyay! I'm a VAMPIRE! WOO HOO!
Sarah: WTF?
Alicia (my best friend): Nuh-uh. She didn't do that.
And then Edward goes "ow". He's supposed to be THE EDWARD CULLEN! If newborns harm him so, why doesn't his enemies just form a huge group of newborn vampires to attack him? Idiot, Smeyer. Not the best route to go. But gah, Edward suddenly sounded so much more suitable for erotica than he was before Bella became a vampire. (Pg 394) =D
And oh, Jasper's scars. *sighs* Poor guy. But NO WORRIES! I will still love you forever and ever.
And bwahahahaha! Bella has red eyes! That's SO NOT HOT. Take that.
Bella's hunting was so lol-able. But she suddenly becomes so graceful! I was sort of hoping that even after being vampire-ised, Bella would still stay clumsy. Because that's how she's supposed to be, no? But NO! Smeyer had to go and perfect her to the point that even the characterization got too good to be true. Vampire!Bella wasn't as believeable as Human!Bella. =(
But Bella made me lol with her, "You stink." cpmment at Jake. =DDDD
But how Jasper went all PMS-mode was so not nice. He's supposed to be Jasper! =( He's not supposed to be out of control of his emotions...much.
But when Bella realised that Jake imprinted on Renesmee, that was total GOLD! LOLOLOLOLOL!
Page 451:
"C'mon Bells! Nessie likes me, too," he insisted.
"What...did you call her?"
"Well," he mumbled, "that name you came up with is kind of a mouthful and-"
"You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?" I screeched.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
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Alright. That sums up part of book three. I SWEAR TOMORROW WILL BE THE END OF IT. I SWEAR! I'll have to go now. Need to get wood for my wood work and possibly backmail Ced into helping me out with part of the project. Make that Ced and Chris and Reg (*sighs* not Reg, he's got his own to fret about...).
